


By Your Side

by Cardinal_Sin (HU_shipper)



Category: Powerwolf (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Songfic, crusaders - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 16:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19872286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HU_shipper/pseuds/Cardinal_Sin
Summary: "You're scared," Matthew murmured. His voice was free of anger or accusation. It was just the truth. Roel let him go, stepped back. His face was a little more collected than Matthew would have expected, but it was just a façade. Inside, he was ready to crumble. He walked back to his chair, all but fell back into it."Of course I'm fucking scared," he scoffed, "aren't you?"A small AU based on Incense and Iron.





	By Your Side

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HandsOfGold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandsOfGold/gifts).



Matthew entered the tent, and nodded to the guard, a silent command to leave. He had a feeling Roel wanted to be alone with him properly.

"You asked for me," he said, as he walked toward the centre of the tent, letting the door flap fall back to its place with a heavy, dull thump.

Roel didn't answer. He was sitting in his chair, face buried in his hands. Matthew couldn't see if he was awake at all or not, the few candles he had burning were almost through. Their flickering little lights made shadows dance across Roel's features, making him look almost inhuman, like a statue.

Matthew could sense the faint scent of incense lingering in the air, the smell standing out like an old friend. He didn't know Roel had any of it around, but oh well.

"You've been praying," Matthew said – guessed, perhaps, though it came out as a statement rather than a question.

Roel nodded to that, but he was still quiet. He wasn't a man of many words, but he usually talked to Matthew. This was not like him. It made Matthew worry for him a little. Not that Roel needed people to worry about him, but Matthew couldn't really help it. It was in his nature to care. He had cared about Charles too, until... Well. The end, so to say. For Charles at least.

Matthew was just about to ask Roel why he had requested his presence, when Roel suddenly stood up, walked over to Matthew. He all but collapsed in his arms, holding on to Matthew's biceps as though his life depended on it. Matthew wrapped an arm around him, allowing himself a faint smile. It had been a while since he'd held Roel.

"I needed to see you, is all," Roel whispered into Matthew's shoulder. Matthew decided he did not need an explanation, not right now. He cupped the back of Roel's neck in a firm but still carefully gentle grip, his thumb tracing circles on the nape of his neck. Roel shuddered, his body seeming to melt into the touch.

"You're scared," Matthew murmured. His voice was free of anger or accusation. It was just the truth. Roel let him go, stepped back. His face was a little more collected than Matthew would have expected, but it was just a façade. Inside, he was ready to crumble. He walked back to his chair, all but fell back into it.

"Of course I'm fucking scared," he scoffed, "aren't you?"

"Of what? A bunch of filthy barbarians cowering behind walls that don't belong to them? I'm not. We will take back the Holy Land, Roel, because it is the Lord's will."

"Deus Vult," Roel muttered. He chuckled a little, bitter all of a sudden. "The funny thing is, though, I'm not entirely sure Deus really Vuls us to get back Jerusalem. Wasn't Jesus' entire teaching based on peace and love for each other? This, this genocide, doesn't feel like peace or love for me. So many of us are dead already, and the rest of us wants to kill even more. It doesn't feel right."

Matthew stared at him incredulously. Roel had faith, even when the men wanted to give up; he had faith and kept them going. He was their commander, and he had been the sole reason they had come this far. There must have been a few who really only wished to bring glory to their name and end up in Heaven, but most people wanted to go home. Matthew knew. He heard things, riding with the others. And to see Roel lose faith... That terrified him. He knew anger would be a better reaction, he should be mad at Roel for abandoning their army, but he couldn't find it in himself. Roel was right, after all.

"I know, my love," he murmured, as he stepped closer to Roel. "But still, you must fight. No matter how scared you are, how scared I am, you will rise with the Sun tomorrow and you'll fight until death or glory. With me by your side."

"You should go home, Matthew," Roel whispered, "to your wife. You shouldn't die like this."

"No." Matthew knelt down before Roel. He grasped his commander's hands, made him look down into his eyes. "I'm never leaving your side again. If I'm meant to die, I'll die with you, I'll die for you."

Matthew kissed Roel then, slowly and tenderly, and Roel sobbed, shocked and relieved at the same time, perhaps grieving in advance. And it felt right. It could have been a sin in God's eyes, breaking wedlock or loving a man, but Matthew had never felt the way he had in that moment. He was truly home. Here, in a tent in a foreign land, holding onto a man he had only known since their march for the Holy Land had started. It was home, more than anything before.

And Matthew would die gladly to protect his home.


End file.
